Breakfast at the hotel — check the seminar venue — set up the equipment — wait for the participants — small talk — start of the workshop.

The assignment: ‚Effective Communication Training‘. In other words:


At the beginning of the workshop, the focus is on the mindset required to even communicate at all.

  • Escape entrenched patterns of thinking.
  • Defrost the frozen body.
  • Destroy ego processes.

This cannot be done with kid gloves or niceties…
So the goal of the ‚Effective Communication Training‘ is to trigger a veritable MINDSET-SHIFT.


It’s all about simple sounding patterns of behavior such as

  • respect
  • real interest in people
  • the art of not thinking
  • ‚SOPHOP‘ – Soft on People – Hard on Points   and much more.

What has this got to do with Effective Communication‘?

Well… everything.

Only after the mindset of the participants has realigned can you even begin to think about developing communication skills.

Before we jump into the workshop-content, participants are confronted with four words on a flip-chart, partly in order to fluster them a little:


“Question: Which group do you belong to?”

You can imagine the responses.

The reason for starting with this provocative question is that Managers first need to realise that we often behave like PEOPLE HATERS, in the figurative sense. We were not always like this, but we became like this. Not because we are bad or mean people, but because we are blinded,

  • blinded by routine
  • blinded by stress
  • blinded by our role models
  • blinded by our own goals and above all
  • blinded by our fears and self-doubt.

It gets quite painful for the participants, once they are held a mirror before them. By their trainer, by their colleagues, by the video camera and ultimately by themselves. They usually don’t like what they hear and see.

In the second part of the training, participants are reminded of the attitudes and behaviors that PEOPLE LOVERS show. This part is dominated by topics about

  • trust
  • empathy
  • discipline
  • determination and
  • compassion.

People often display emotions here, some guys also make fun of what they hear – a subconscious reaction to counteract their insecurity and (self-)irritation. Their ego tries to convince them that they are empathetic people, that they act with discipline and decisiveness. In philosophy one refers to this as the struggle against the ego delusion.

In the third part, Managers realise that with the rediscovered mindset of the PEOPLE LOVER they will quickly master the techniques of ‚Effective Communication‘ and achieve significantly better results.

After all, that is the reason why trainees attend the course. Only that.

  • We should not forget that effective communication is not the goal, but a logical consequence of the right mindset.
  • Effective communication is nothing but a way in order to improve performance.
  • What people really want is more loyal employees and a fully motivated team, one that runs itself in perpetual motion.
  • What people really want is more self-confidence based on a strong sense of self-worth.
  • What people really want is real leadership.


After the first round of role plays most participants were shocked by the perception of their own behavior and the resulting feedback from others.

Let me share a small role play example here, in order to describe the typical starting point (current mindset) at a seminar:
Each participant is asked to role play a current business situation, with the trainer as the interlocutor. One of the managers gave the following briefing:

“I need a skilled employee for a project in Chicago, which is crucial for the future of the company. This project could be a great career move for the employee if he is successful. I have identified the employee and am speaking to him about this opportunity.”

I asked him what would happen if the employee declined, whether there were any other candidates that would be suitable for the project.

He replied: “No, I have to convince him. If he declines, I’m going to have a real problem.”

I played the employee…


Coming up in September:

How a ‘nice leader’ turns into a PEOPLE HATER within two minutes only – and why – and what’s the ‘counter poison’ to achieve great business results.

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